For many, many years, I have been depressed. Dark. Looked at the dark side of things. For once, I feel positive, and want to look at the bright side.
Moving from Hades and Hekate, Athena and Hermes, I want to bathe in the light. I look at my life, compared to others, and I’m really not that bad. Most of the time, I have enough money (when I’m mindful and pay attention).
I started thinking about Apollo on January 1. He’s a healer, an archer, god of the sun, justice, music and poetry. He has many lovers and is one of the best loved gods in the Greek Pantheon. Unlike Athena, he didn’t have a whole territory named after him, but he had lots of temples.
He, like most of the gods, likes offerings. I need to figure out the best way to pray/worship him. I’ll do some research (I bought a couple of books which are very much overviews) on the web.
At first, I didn’t know if he would want me, someone who’s sick and in need of healing, someone who is not physically beautiful, someone who looks at the worst case scenarios. What do I have to offer? Poetry and prose?
Today I went out shopping and my attention was drawn to a bunch of crows in a parking lot. Seagulls, yes. Pigeons, sure. Crows? Crows are Apollo’s birds. They are also messengers of the dead. I have always felt close to crows.
This, I feel, is Apollo accepting of me. Flawed that I am.